29 July 2014

"Don't date a girl who reads"

"You Should Date an Illiterate Girl", by Charles Warnke

Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly.

Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you. 

Charles Warnke

28 July 2014

Easy living

This sunset shared with incredible people will be kept in my mind and heart forever as one of the best moments of my life. Good people, good conversations and good music will always amaze me.
As for the rest, I think I could go on and on and on on how lucky I know I am with my life!...

"And, in the end of the day, your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling"

Photos by Andreas

27 July 2014

Backyards, cinema and other stories!

Words, photos, backyard and beauty all from Kelly Framel.

Around here, we fervently believe in the power and importance of upgrading the everyday: making every meal an occasion, applauding a sunset, opening our home to friends and filling it with a lot of love and fun. It’s this ethos that inspired us to collaborate with Ecco Domani Wines on some summer entertaining ideas; their brand is built on the same tenets we ourselves live by. For us, living every day like it’s your last means celebrating life in the moment: putting your best foot forward, wearing a pretty dress just because, using the good plates, living in harmony with nature, and taking care of the ones you love.

For the past year and a half, we’ve divided time between New York City and Amagansett, a quiet little hamlet nestled between The Hamptons and Montauk on the easternmost tip of Long Island. Our time in the city is filled with momentum: industry, appointments, takeout and crowded restaurants ~ everything in inverse of the languorous days we spend in Amagansett. It’s a life with distinct yin and yang ~ a fantastic balance. Out East, happily ensconced in our little cabin in the woods, the rest of the world really fades away. In every direction, we’re surrounded by trees; we wake up under a canopy of leaves, glistening through the skylight above bed. You can almost hear their branches sing. The retreat feels endless, and it’s a cathedral we’re always loathe to leave. So we entertain at home, make every day festive, and lure friends into our little dreamworld so that we rarely have to abandon it.

We’re surrounded by fisherman and farmland, fresh produce only a bike ride away. If you pop by at lunchtime you’ll likely find seared tuna tacos served alongside heirloom tomatoes and watermelon salad, for dinner, ceviche. The afternoons in between are spent poolside, and we rarely go inside again until it’s time for bed. Why should we? In lieu of lawn furniture, our grassy backyard is littered with sun-faded rugs, oversized pillows, Moroccan poufs and a random assortment of stuffed jungle animals. Friday night is movie night. We pin a white sheet to the clothesline and pull a few rugs and a projector up around it. Word has spread quickly that if you mosey over to our place at sunset, you’ll be just in time for the evening show.

It’s the easiest, most impromptu of parties. We never know who exactly will drop by or how many friends they’ll bring, but it really doesn’t matter. There’s plenty of room around the fire. Popcorn is constantly exploding from our stovetop (it’s the simplest thing to make endless quantities of, then elevate with a sprinkling of herbed salt), and as long as we have plenty of wine and fixings for s’mores, then we’re pretty much in business ~ whether 2 or 20 roll up for the flick!

Photos: The Glamourai

25 things you DON’T need to do before you die

I found this article quite interesting for the rule breakers. Not that I'm a fan of BuzzFeed whatsoever, but I think these, apparently simple, 25 things point out good and important ways to see life, with which I agree and somehow let them "rule" mine... Moreover, they are also a reminder for me to be more patiente, tolerant and respectful with other people lifestyle.
1. You shouldn’t feel pressure to see, watch, read, or listen to anything in order to feel “cultured.” Love what you love, and explore the arts in whatever way that makes sense to you.

2. Your body doesn’t have to look a particular way.

3. You don’t need to have sex before or after a particular point. You do that when you feel it’s right.

4. You shouldn’t feel bad about having “too much” or “too little” sexual experience.

5. You don’t have to find love by any particular point. It happens when it does, if you’re open to it.

6. You don’t ever need to define your sexuality. It can be a fluid thing.

7. You don’t have to have sex at all.

8. You don’t need to be in a committed relationship at any particular point in your life.

9. You don’t ever need to get married.

10. You don’t ever need to be a parent.

11. And if you want to be a parent, it doesn’t have to be your biological child.

12. You don’t need to achieve major success by a specific point in your life. Success can come early, or late in life. And it’s something you have to define for yourself.
13. You don’t need to buy specific things to prove you’re an adult.
14. You don’t need to travel all over to be worldly.
15. You don’t need to have a career. You don’t have to define your life by your work, and you don’t have to feel like you need to do the same work all of your life.
16. You don’t have to be ashamed of any excess or lack of body hair.
17. You don’t have to be friends with everybody.
18. You don’t have to like what everyone else likes.
19. You don’t have to please everyone.
20. You shouldn’t ever feel like it’s too late to change your life.
21. You don’t have to let your mistakes (or successes) define you.
22. You don’t have to know everything.
23. You don’t need to drink or do drugs to have a good time.
24. You don’t need to be religious or spiritual. You don’t have to feel bad about being religious or spiritual either.
25. You don’t need to correct all of your flaws. It’s OK to be human.

Source: BuzzFeed

More here & here.

25 July 2014

24 July 2014

Blurred photos for blurred lives

Not sure about the purpose of showing blurred photos here, imperfect ones captured in perfect moments. I think it's all about reminding ourselves about the purpose of life - mine at least.

I now understand that all my life I've been dealing with it in a trial-and-error basis and it took me 25 f*cking years to become what I am. I've been a very lucky girl - true that - my struggles are nothing comparing to what's happening around the world, but what I'm talking here is mainly mental growth. I never refused to learn and grow, I've always been open to all the experiences that came to me and allowed them to change me, because we, on ourselves, are no final destination. I allowed to take the best and learn with the mistakes of these experiences, so I can adapt more easily and be a better person. I'm not static, the girl I was 10, 5, 3, 1 years ago is no longer the girl I'm right now. My soul is the same, and it's portuguese - doubt not -, my honest and contagious smile is still easy to get, but the way I feel with life is different. Call it vulnerability, I call it growth. I feel stronger than ever, confident than ever, because all this trial and error process helped me to know better what fits me and what not, learnt to say "no".
I also always choose to confront my not-so-good-moments, I never tried to escape, I took decisions when I had to and I didn't wait for the sun to come, I cried when I needed to, and, guess what, I found most of the answers when alone.
I have no admiration for people who refuse to grow and stay stuck in themselves, in old ideas, most of the times based only in opinions and pure judgements and nothing solid that is worth being stuck on. But then again, the way I deal with life, and consequently, with people, changed - I no longer care for them, except when they cross my path... In fact, we shouldn't consider other people's opinion especially when they never walked your path or a path with you. I believe each one of us should do and deal with life the way one wants, but be aware that there are no standards and no such thing as "normality".
My world has changed, my rules also changed, but the only universal truth I believe here is truly that "your freedom ends where my freedom begins".

Shall my mottos resonate in your mind:

"Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity."

"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final."

"All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow."

"Be your own person, in your own body, living your own life."

"I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things."

"Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value [comprehend] you. Know your worth even if they don’t."

Other than that, and going to the photos: sand under my feet, wind in my hair, salt on my skin. And yeah, life could be as easy as this, but people like to complicate things and occupy their lives with problems they think necessary they need in order to live...

Antibes, France.

23 July 2014

Sabrina being all a muse!

A big thumps up for Sabrina mix&match of this great classic and elegant, yet effortless, outfit!
It's not exactly the first she appears around here, see more here & here.

When I got this shirtdress last year I would have never thought I would wear it this much. With out biking mentality in Amsterdam, a dress is not the most convenient thing to wear. And yet every time it comes out of the laundry, I wear it straight away. (Ok, after my boyfriend gives it a good iron. With the layering at the bottom it’s just too complicated for me in the morning. Need. Coffee. First.)
It also goes perfectly well with the classic pieces of jewelry I have been wearing lately. Like my luck locket from Cartier, which subtly shows when worn with unbuttoned things.

Photos: afterDRK
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