7 April 2013

Why not... get to know yourself? I (by Shannon)

The Simply Luxurious Life from Shannon Ables has been one my life-style blogs for a while now.
It happened, last December, in one of those beautiful snowy nights in Milano, that I stayed awake almost all night catching up most of her inspirational posts about being a Woman. For the first time in all these years I've been reading her, all of those texts made sense and so, I start to compile them in a .doc file and now I have printed around 200 pages which I'm reading like a book.

So, right now, I decided to share some of the most important posts I read and I'd like to share with you, hoping it inspires you as well.

To do so, I'll start with the most important step in all of these process of trying to be "someone" in your own life: 

know yourself. 

Knowing yourself is actually the first step for most of the success in your life, in fashion (know your body shape, colors and clothes that suit you and don't, etc), in business,... It implies some hard work, education, time alone, err and learn from it. I'm 24 now and I happy I start to made this work already, it takes time and hard work, I repeat, but it definitely worth it. The more you know yourself, the stronger you become. You don't wave so easily, but you're open to patiently hear from others, you decide what's best for you and not, you learn to say "no" and "yes" with no constraints, you find your own voice and so you mark your position in your life and society, with respect to and from others. All in a way to a life of inner and outter peace & success.

With that said, here's what Shannon wrote:

"It has always been my belief that the best gift you can give yourself is the time to get to know yourself.  Now some may think this to be an odd gift. After all, the process of getting to know one’s self is not all roses and kisses.  In fact, the inaugural stages are full of tears, doubt, and questioning.  But similar to going through the pain of growing spurts or straightening your teeth, the pain of the process produces an amazing result that, upon completion, is viewed as being more than worth the pain.

Establishing boundaries
Once you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you can more easily establish the areas in your life that you are willing to be a bit more flexible with and with which ones you need to stand firm on a regular basis.  For example, if you are someone who needs time to themselves to unwind, that should be a boundary you don’t waver on, but if your privacy isn’t something you guard stringently, you might be more flexible when it comes to uninvited guests stopping by your home. The key is to figure out what makes you uncomfortable and to honor that feeling.  The only reason you need to say no to anything is that it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is enough, and if anyone else tries to override you, they are not being respectful of your feeling, and a battle for control is taking place. Respect yourself enough to know what you can’t wiggle on and what you can and be strong.

Less judgmental

Upon realizing your talents and passions, your need to be envious or jealous of others' talents quietly, and rather quickly, evaporates.  It’s funny how when you feel you have found your purpose, you understand the struggles of others and are more apt to understand why they are behaving as they do, thus resulting in your response of empathy. Because once you’ve found what your focus needs to be in life, what truly fills you up and causes you to know without question that you are chasing the dreams that you were meant to chase, you don’t begrudge anyone else their dreams whether you agree with them or not.  In fact, your appreciation of someone else's success provides a positive energy that will provide more fuel towards your goal. Think about it.

Elimination of fear

One of the most freeing things about getting to know yourself is the squashing of the fear that resides inside your subconscious.  Once you are assured that you have determined, on an initial level, what lights you up from within and stirs your inner fire in such a positive way that you couldn’t imagine doing anything else, the fear is so minimal because you have this quiet self-confidence that your passion will carry you through the tough times and help you shine on to the most memorable times. What a priceless realization.

The comfort of your own skin

And once you have eliminated the fear, your confidence can propel you to even more amazing heights.  Think about it. When you’re not sure, insecure and constantly questioning, you’re not taking gainful strides.  Instead, you are tippy-toeing.  And think of the strength and balance you are casting aside by doing this? Not only will you be more likely to achieve your dreams and goals when you become comfortable in your own skin, but you’ll arrive there in a more direct path because you will have remained balanced, confident and assured that you are on the right path. 

No regrets

Yet another wonderful benefit of getting to know yourself is the elimination of regrets. I must admit, I have come to believe that there are no regrets because ultimately, everything done in the past has created the person I am today.  However, for anyone who has regrets and holds on to them, by knowing full well that you are living the life that best suits you (not anyone else’s idea of what you should do), you are placing the responsibility squarely on your shoulders. And by doing that, you also accept that you will make mistakes, but the beauty is they don’t have to be regrets because just like falling – it’s only considered a failure (or regret) if you refuse to learn from it.

Energy is plentiful

By becoming more self-aware of who you are, you eliminate wasting energy on people, events and worries that once you weren’t sure of, slowed you down or steered you in the wrong direction. By knowing, you place your dreams on the table and understand very clearly where you want your energy to be spent.  And in doing this, it also becomes much easier to make decisions.  The “no”s will come more confidently and the “yes”s more excitedly."

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